The day that kid got fucked by a dog

September 2, 2008

You know you get those stories that seem to happen to everyone at school?  Well did anyone have one where a kid got fucked by a dog?

It was in winter, and it had snowed; we were out on lunch break.  The landscaped hills in the school playing field made an excellent sledge run, and we were scooting down them on dinner trays that we had nicked out of the canteen.  This big black Labrador thing was loose and running around barking at us every time we went down.

There was this kid from the first year; he was a bit of a geek.  He had these fake black leather trousers on for some reason.  The dog seemed to particularly like this kid; each time he went down the dog went crazy barking and jumping on him.  The last time the kid went down the dog really jumped him.

We all gathered around and formed a big circle like when there is a fight.  Everyone was pissing themselves with hysterical laughter.  The dog had got the kid pinned down and was mounting him – doggy style.  The kid was trying to crawl away on all fours, but the dog was having him big time.  Only when the dog was done with him did the kid get to escape.  We knew the dog was done with him because he had dog spunk all over the shiny black fake leather pants.

I remember seeing that poor lad from time to time over the next 3 years.  We always remembered him and never failed to remind him, and everyone else around, what happened to him that snowy winter lunch break.


20 Responses to “The day that kid got fucked by a dog”

  1. Drinking Games said

    do you think i would find the video under kiddie porn or beatiality at my local movie hut??

  2. That kid was you wasn’t it?

  3. phalluscephalus said

    I would never admit to such appalling fashion sense as shiny black fake leather pants.

  4. jollyjudd said

    Ooooohhhhh nooooooooooo!!!! This DIDN’T really happen, no fucking way!! There was a rumor floating around my school that a slutty girl once sucked a dog’s dick while drunk, but it couldn’t be proven. You’re telling me you actually witnessed a dog fucking someone?

  5. phalluscephalus said

    J: I tagged it to catch people like you! WordPress filed your comment under ‘askimet spam’!

  6. phalluscephalus said

    JJ: It did happen, but it wasn’t actual penetrative sex. I think that would have scarred me for life had I witnessed that – I would probably need to watch Animal Farm just to get a chub on.

  7. Cockslut3000 said

    I just creamed my pants.

  8. phalluscephalus said

    Shiny black fake leather pants?

  9. Savior Self said

    fake leather pants? He deserved it!

  10. phalluscephalus said

    He got lucky it was a labrador. If it was a great dane he still would have been asking for it in those pants.

  11. Penrose said

    I actually saw something similar to this once. We had a male britanny spaniel named Freckles chained up in the back yard and my friend Tom came over to the house one afternoon. Tom had a female dog who was in heat and I guess he had the scent on him because when he walked by Freckles, Freckles knocked his ass down in the grass and started to fuck the shit out of his leg. Tom kept yelling, “Get him off of me!” I couldn’t stop laughing and told him, “As soon as it stops being funny.” Fucking dog came all over his new jeans.

  12. phalluscephalus said

    That kid would have been traumatised for life now. I bet he is socially inept and keeps loads of dogs these days. I hope you’re ashamed of yourself!

  13. Jenny Snuggles said

    What’s so funny about this story?

    I thought this kind of thing happened to everyone.

  14. Qelqoth said

    In respect to your response to Jolly, I also use Akismet. It sucks ass. Speaking of ass – awesome fucking post, lol. 🙂

  15. Sleepy Joe said

    Did you press charges against the dog?

    Supposedly a kid a my school fucked a dead woman.

  16. Static said

    Sheesh. I know the way to get a dog to stop humping your leg.
    You whack him off.

    But how the hell do you stop a dog from humping your ass in fake leather pants? By not wearing fake leather pants or assless chaps which are what this “kid” was really wearing wasn’t he? And the playground was really a “studio” and the other kids were “porn actors, set hands & fluffers” and the circle was really a “circle jerk”. Right?

  17. phalluscephalus said

    Sleepy: It wasn’t me that needed to press charges – it was the stupid kid in the fake leather pants. What’s this about the kid who fucked a dead woman? That WAS you wasn’t it?

  18. phalluscephalus said

    Cheers Q. It was J’s comment it caught (drinking games) and I’m not surprised. They’re normally fucking spam anyway.

  19. phalluscephalus said

    Static! Whacking off a dog may be your forte and shhh thanks for letting the cat out of the bag re the porn circle – jerk!

  20. Static said


    Aaaaa! You caught me. I am a dog whackerer offerer and I like to set rabid cats with sharp claws loose on nekked circle jerkerers! LULZ

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